The last few month has been some of the most difficult faced in a long time but in many ways trials and tribulations come and go each one giving us an opportunity to learn and hopefully making us a much better person in the process.

However it is with some intrigue that several individuals wondered why I had not committed suicide due to the pressure they felt I was put under, being either an observation or statement of how they felt my mental health well-being was it was in some ways ill welcomed but reminded me of several things.

I was reminded of Job, it’s a little looked at book in the bible but in many ways a gem especially if we look at it from a Vedic point of view. Being one of the richest men alive, nice family and wife and with god at the centre; however this brings with it some critics who pointed out to God that he was only serving him because of the opulence and that if it wasn’t for this he would not serve of worship God as prescribed in the scriptures.

So in order to show the mood of his devotee he allowed many hardships, loss of his son’s, wealth and even health being reduced to a beggar outside the city gates with boils that needed to be scrapped off with old broken pot. But his realization was in good or bad, in health or ill health all things came from God for a reason and he never lost his love for life and love of God. Even his wife and close friends came with what they felt were good words “why don’t you curse God and die (may be suicide? Your life is so pitiful give it up?)” but still he remained focused.

The upshot was that even in this condition he just accepted it as mercy that although he could not understand why it was a lesson or test from God himself; in the end once all the critics were silenced his health, wealth and family life were returned more than he had ever had.

I am in no were in the league of Job, if only I could reach such an exalted position in life; it did however highlight that we do identify with this body seeing the suffering as being some how permanent or long lasting and at times insurmountable little realizing that all suffering like this body is temporary.

In the Message of Godhead written by Srila Prabhupada he notes the following:

So when we speak of a living entity, we must see the body and the mind as two outward coverings, two layers of paraphernalia — and the living force or spirit soul as the chief, central figure. The outward coverings are temporary arrangements, and therefore everything dependent on the outward covering is also a temporary arrangement. Happiness or distress perceived in relation with the temporary arrangement of the body and mind is also temporary. Thus, in Bhagavad-gita the Personality of Godhead, Sri Krsna, says, “O son of Kunti! All forms of happiness or distress, such as winter cold or summer heat, are due to material sense perception only. They come and go according to the laws of nature, and they are therefore to be tolerated without our being disturbed. One who is not disturbed by all these comings and goings of temporary happiness and distress — he alone becomes a fit person to attain eternal life.”

Ref: MoG 1: Transcendental Knowledge

We see and feel suffering not only of ourselves but also of others and this has some effect on the soul, but do we enquire why, why do we suffer so? To understand why we suffer also means that we understand the temporary nature of life, the connection with soul to the body and also then the solution to end suffering:

Suffering without knowledge, without remedy, is animal life. One who cannot understand that he is suffering and who thinks that he is very well off is in animal consciousness, not human consciousness. The human being should be cognizant of suffering the threefold miseries of this planet. One should know that he is suffering in birth, suffering in death, suffering in old age and suffering in disease, and one should be inquisitive as to how he may avoid the suffering. That is real research work.

We have suffered from the beginning of our birth. As a baby, the human being is tightly placed in the abdomen of the mother in an airtight bag for nine months. He cannot even move, there are insects biting him, and he cannot protest. After the child comes out, the suffering continues. The mother undoubtedly takes much care, but still the child cries because he is suffering. There are bugs biting or there are pains in his stomach; the child is crying, and the mother does not know how to pacify him. His suffering begins in the womb of his mother. Then, after his birth, as he grows up, there is more suffering. He does not want to go to school, but he is forced to. He does not want to study, but the teacher gives him tasks. If we analyze our life, we will find that it is full of suffering. Why then are we coming here? The conditioned souls are not very bright. We should inquire, “Why am I suffering?” If there is a remedy, we must take advantage of it.

Ref: EJ 2: Varieties of Planetary Systems

By understanding this we then come to realize that suicide is not a solution but actually increases the duration of suffering, we can committee both spiritual and material suicide both are not so beneficial as again the scriptures explain:

Lord Siva, or Rudra, is the king of the ghosts. Ghostly characters worship Lord Siva to be gradually guided toward a path of self-realization. Mayavadi philosophers are mostly worshipers of Lord Siva, and Sripada Sankaracarya is considered to be the incarnation of Lord Siva for preaching godlessness to the Mayavadi philosophers. Ghosts are bereft of a physical body because of their grievously sinful acts, such as suicide. The last resort of the ghostly characters in human society is to take shelter of suicide, either material or spiritual. Material suicide causes loss of the physical body, and spiritual suicide causes loss of the individual identity. Mayavadi philosophers desire to lose their individuality and merge into the impersonal spiritual brahmajyoti existence. Lord Siva, being very kind to the ghosts, sees that although they are condemned, they get physical bodies. He places them into the wombs of women who indulge in sexual intercourse regardless of the restrictions on time and circumstance. Kasyapa wanted to impress this fact upon Diti so that she might wait for a while.

Ref: SB 3.14.24

Although it has been a very been a difficult few months, any form of suicide has been undesirable but it has taught me one valuable lesson, the need to take shelter of Krishna.

We do this simply by following the instructions found in the Gita by chanting the holy names, arati and most importantly by our association with devotees.

We all suffer in this material world, we all undergo trials and tribulations, we all have our faults and weakness but by Krishna’s mercy we can overcome and surpass the four-fold miseries of life. This is Krishna’s mercy, the mercy of Sri Guru and of the devotees who are always full of compassion for the fallen conditioned soul.

And as to the Job comforters who’s comments were not necessarily needed there needs to grow an understanding of how precious and temporary this human form of life is and that it is best not wasted wondering or wallowing in our own self pity or suffering, but focus on the marvel’s found in scripture and elevate ourselves from this material world for then and only then will this suffering and misery stop.