During my children’s nurse training I remember quite vividly a young toddler we had in our care, it was a long placement and each day I would see to her needs and as the ward was quiet sit playing (one of the things you can do as a student)

Her mum visited infrequently it was not that she didn’t care, but due to circumstances and social dynamics some skills and maternal instincts were lacking; the majority of the child’s life had been in hospital cared for by nursing staff.

Now one day we were sat playing and I was quite unaware the mum was standing by the door, I could not say how long she had been stood their for as my back was to the door. Crying and emotional she shouted “LOOK what you’ve done she doesn’t come to me” it was only then did I notice her.

I often wonder how as a mother that must feel

It left quite a marked impression on me, but brings into focus the difficulty working in children’s services, do we have a total hands off approach thus ignoring the emotional needs of a child or acknowledge them?

Again my thoughts turn to dealing with the emotional needs of a child, whilst also taking into account the feelings of parents and the perceptions of those around.

If I child comes running up arms outstretched do you acknowledge this and not only allow the child to throw their arms around you but also acknowledge this by reciprocating?

Some would say yes this is a natural response and gives the child a sense of security whilst others would see it as unprofessional and against the rules stating that their should be no physical contact at all.

But this is also more complicated by the simple fact that the child could respond to you in such a way whilst not to their parents?

Again I am reminded of the toddler back in my student days and also that a parent may reports that the child will not do as they are told, follow directions and has aggressive fits were they bite and kick; but during their time with you non of these are presented but are observed when the child returns to the parent.

Again how does that feel for the parent?

Working in children’s services we also have to be aware of there individual’s perceptions, relating a time when I helped out at a Sunday school being the only trained first-aider; one day a small child of 6 fell over and had a minor cut just below her knee after cleaning it up and putting on a small plaster she held her hands out for a hug; my response was to give her a hug back and after some reassurance she was back out playing.

To my shock I had a phone call the following day asking for me to account for my actions in hugging a child, the reason I feel remains clear and is a response to the emotional needs of the child to ignore this need for a hug would cause undue emotional stress

The perception of others was that the child should not be hugged under and circumstances

One of my colleges also found himself under scrutiny for doing nothing more than straightening the hair of the individual he was caring for ready for a picture, this was seen by some as being inappropriate contact and reported him; the outcome was some time of distress during the investigation but then relief when the conclusion was he had done nothing wrong. But highlights the vulnerability of those working with children.

We see this sensitivity even on giving minors a lift, even if child protection guidelines and social services directions are followed with more important parental consent; again taking a minor who wishes to attend the temple for festivals or visiting individuals can land you in hot water. As one temple president said, “I am the only authority, I don’t care what the parents want, nor what the police or social services say” whilst also ignoring that skills and advice of those working with children and vulnerable adults.

Yes I have requested not to work with some families or individuals and have given a long explanation as to why and in each case my colleges have agreed, in once case were the family continued to ask for me my colleges simply told them I was on long term sick with a broken leg (I hope it doesn’t tempt fate)

You see that working in the area I do throws up many issues, non-can be said to be a black or white; many remain grey. At times we would ask for direction or advice in some a set of stated guidelines.

On a recent TV documentary two children were put into a busy shopping centre and asked to look lost afraid and upset, thousands of individuals passed the children but only a small handful stopped. Those that did expressed fear for themselves worried what others would think and would they find themselves in trouble. The leading campaigner for children who also set up “childline” noted that the emotional needs of a child was being neglected and that adults were more concerned about protecting themselves than the needs of the child.

In the case of the minor a long chat with child protection officers and two social workers I work closely with and who’s advice was clear and followed; this was ignored and myself and those I had consulted belittled by individuals who don’t work in or face these decisions on a regular basis.

I love my job, I love the challenges, I am aware of the problems and vulnerabilities; having a fine balancing act in responding to the needs of the child and young vulnerable adults whilst taking into account the perception and demands of others.

But I guess only those working in children’s services will understand this.