According to Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura, there are two kinds of impediments to devotional service. The first is an offense at the lotus feet of a Vaisnava. This is called vaisnava-aparadha. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu warned His devotees not to commit vaisnava-aparadha, which He described as the mad elephant offense. When a mad elephant enters a beautiful garden, it destroys everything, leaving a barren field. Similarly, the power of vaisnava-aparadha is so great that even an advanced devotee becomes almost devoid of his spiritual assets if he commits it. Since Krsna consciousness is eternal, it cannot be destroyed altogether, but advancement may be checked for the time being. Thus vaisnava-aparadha is one kind of impediment to devotional service. Sometimes, however, the Supreme Personality of Godhead or His devotee desires to impede one’s devotional service. For example, Hiranyakasipu and Hiranyaksa were formerly Jaya and Vijaya, the gatekeepers in Vaikuntha, but by the desire of the Lord, they became His enemies for three lives. Thus the desire of the Lord is another kind of impediment. But in both cases, the pure devotee, once advanced in Krsna consciousness, cannot be lost. Following the orders of his superiors (Svayambhuva and Lord Brahma), Priyavrata accepted family life, but this did not mean he lost his position in devotional service. Krsna consciousness is perfect and eternal, and therefore it cannot be lost under any circumstances. Because the material world is full of obstructions to advancement in Krsna consciousness, there may appear to be many impediments, yet Krsna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, declares in Bhagavad-gita (9.31), kaunteya pratijanihi na me bhaktah pranasyati: once one has taken shelter at the lotus feet of the Lord, he cannot be lost.
 SB 5.1.5

I have again been thinking around the subject of Aparadha’s the intricacies and my thoughts.

You see we are meant to become more tolerant than trees, full of compassion for the fallen conditioned soul my understanding is that due to this even if a great offence is caused against us we need to do just this.

By accusing someone of causing an offence actually shows a lack of tolerance and understanding; by actually accusing an individual of committing an Aparadha we actually risk being the offender.

I am reminded of a story were a new individual was visiting a temple he sat next to the visiting spiritual master, some time past and he turned to the spiritual master and abruptly pointed out that his Japa was not perfect and worse it was without attention. This too a spiritual master the reply could have been who do you think you are what an offence to accuse Me of offensive chanting, it could be seen by some as an aparadha; but No he was simply thanked for his concern and correction the spiritual master was humble and undisturbed the individuals nature but it did focus his mind on the importance of Japa noting that this was truly a blessing from Krishna.

I was reminded of a class I attended last year by my Guru Maharaja the question of how to deal with some one who accuses you of something you have not done causes you offence and distress; his reply was simple “just thank them”. He explained that if they are accusing you of a fault that is not their then we must actually see and appreciate their concern but we could simply point out that it is correct that as an individual I have many faults of which this is not one of them; you could actually extend this by saying of the faults I have this is one I struggle with most may be you could help me over come it?

We should be very careful of accusing someone of an offence, if we are in fact put under some distress by comments made then this is simply Krishna’s mercy to help us overcome the bondage of material attachment; for us to learn humility, tolerance and forgiveness. It could be a harsh chastisement for our neglect of a fault we are unwilling to admit to or deal with.

This does not however excuse us or give us a right to say anything, we should guard against the possibility of causing offence. Our dealings with everyone (all living things) should be one of helping develop love of Krishna focused on love, support and understanding as well as at times correction.

Yes as my Guru Maharaja also pointed out sometimes we give advice and the person becomes offended by this, we should never shy away from correcting others if we see them taking an action that will ultimately impede devotional life. But we should learn how to do this with wisdom; now I have not quite managed this it is a fault of mine and I’m working on it.

I am at times a bit emotional saying what I feel rather than actually thinking things through properly; and yes although I have not meant to offended it has been seen or perceived as being offensive, yes as I look more closely there is many things I need to personally work on and the list is getting bigger as my understanding grows.

This included trying to be more tolerant, forgiving and understanding for I simply do not wish to offend or take offence when there is simply no need, I do not want my own humble advancement or that of any one else’s uprooted as an elephant would do if let loose could their be anything worse?

Again as my Guru Maharaja simply pointed out by accusing of or taking offence we cause unnecessary disturbance within society; but that we also have to realise that some people’s nature is just simply to find faults with others. Ultimately it is best to find fault first with ourselves and correct them we need to be for real with ourselves before we can help others

I am also reminded of a biblical reference-asking god to forgive us our trespasses as we freely forgive those who trespass against us; it reminds me that as Srila Prabhupada prepared to leave hid body he asked for forgiveness for any offences done. OK so there were no offences to forgive; as is the case of all our own spiritual masters what could be see as an offence is actually helping the disciple to return home.

I am reminded that I was deeply offended by a comment my own Guru Maharaja made “how could he say that; what sort of person is he” this was my mistake given time my appreciation of his comments has grown and YES he was right.

But that we too have to follow the example set, and as time in the form of Kali waits for no one we do not have the luxury as Srila Prabhupada did of choosing when to leave our material body. So my thinking is that it is best to guard against offences and if we become aware of making one trying to make emends even if this I rejected or unappreciated; and that we should be wise enough to forgive those who we may feel has offended ourselves.

Better we avoid making any form of aparadha but also my thinking is that it’s also best to guard against accusing individuals of making an aparadha against ourselves both can be equally dangerous and check and progress in spiritual life; and would we wish to continue to suffer in this material life?